Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
