I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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