I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
