bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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