Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
COCAINE IS GR8
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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