I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
