You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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