Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
