okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
