And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
