Only a mothe r could love this liver
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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