have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
