home. puking in laundry basket.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
