um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
