you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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