I'm really into asian looking animals
Even the bartender felt bad for me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
