Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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