Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
