the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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