He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
