Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
