I'm jealous of your bromance
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
