I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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