I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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