I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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