that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
