Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
