Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
