Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
