I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
