Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
