drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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