We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
