bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
