Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Soap is not a condiment
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
