8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
