ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
