Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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