I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
