quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
