I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
