I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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