We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
