Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
