watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
