Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
