So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
