You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
