And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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