HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
