i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
