I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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