Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
