The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Someone signed my nipple.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
