I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
